First step, relax! This is a simple - and way overrated -- ritual that
has been around for years. And, luckily it's the same ritual in every
restaurant. So learn it once and you're all set.
This is a three-step process. There really are no time limits; although
you could annoy your server to no end if you drag it out too long. And
annoying your server needlessly is rarely a good idea.
Step 1: The presentation of the wine bottle
The server is slowly walking up to your table and you swear you hear
the theme song from Rocky playing in the background. Take a deep breath
and make eye contact.
He or she will execute the presentation-of-the-bottle portion of the
ritual. This is simply so you can verify that it's what you ordered.
Hopefully, you can remember.
Take a good look at the label. Is it the correct wine and vintage
(year)? If it is, nicely tell the server you are accepting the bottle
for the table and to be opened. If it isn't, nicely point out the
mistake to the server. (Hey, no one's perfect). As the server is
opening the bottle, this is a good time to smile and say something
witty to your guests who have been staring at you the entire time.
Although not necessary, it makes things a little lighter.
Step 2: - The opening of the wine bottle
The server opens the bottle and gently places the cork next to your
hand. No matter what, fight the urge to smell it! Smelling the cork
accomplishes nothing, and will make you look like a dork. Especially if
it's a plastic cork or screw top.
Just feel the cork to make sure the bottom is moistened with wine and
that it's intact. It's okay if the cork is dry, but it shouldn't be
cracked or falling apart. There's not much you can learn by feeling a
plastic cork or, worse, a screw top.
While you were feeling the cork, the server has poured a small amount
of wine into your glass. Simply swirl the wine a tad. No need to go
crazy and create a whirlpool in your glass. Just a little, calm swirl.
This helps "open up your wine" or oxygenate it so you can smell and
taste the true flavor.
Now, with nose in the glass, take a nice long whiff. Without getting
into the complexity of the specific aromas of the grapes, you are
simply making sure the wine is not bad. Believe me you will know if
it's bad as the essence of vinegar or mold will be present.
Now taste it. Odds are it will be great. Every now and then a wine will
be either "corked" (the cork has contaminated the wine) or it was
damaged by improper storage. If either of those has happened, you will
probably taste something like moldy bread or fruit, a wet basement,
cork, cardboard, or vinegar. It will be pretty obvious that it should
be sent back.
Step 3: Serving the table
If your wine passes steps 1 & 2, then let the server know that the
drinking can begin. He or she will pour to your guests first, beginning
with the ladies. Your glass will be the last one to be filled. Chances
are good you'll get the bill at the end of the night, too.
Congratulations! You've now mastered the ritual that intimidates and
scares many people and you didn't look like an idiot! In fact you
undoubtedly looked fabulous.
About the Author
Lynne Thomas knows a good glass of wine when she drinks one. She is
a founding partner of Let's Talk About Wine, a wine information
resource created to connect people who want to learn about wine the
fun, easy way. Visit http://www.letstalkaboutwine.com/ for a few laughs and a lot of info.
Chilean Wine Guide 
